When you are on your knees you cannot stumble.

Richardson & Atkinson

Dear Diary,

So I have read over all the things I wrote in my last entry, many times. I have decided to try and start making a list of things that I might find to try and make myself happy, not only inwardly but also outwardly. So this is where I feel I need to start first….

I need to release some of this anger and frustration I feel with God.  So I have started with getting on my knees each morning after getting out of the bed and each night before I go to bed. Sometimes I pray out loud and others I am just quiet letting God listen to my heart alone and hoping I will hear his in return.  My knees are where this battle must be fought and so on my knees are where I will be.  I am just trying to surrender all to Him and leave it with Him. This is I know will be an on going  journey.

Richardson & Atkinson

Another thing, is taking the time to enjoy my children and to have fun with them. Before to long they will be off on their own life’s journey and I won’t be able to get these things back. Now in saying this, having fun with children can often be difficult. Your idea of fun and theirs are two different things.  And of course, each one of them has their own ideas of what fun is to them. So after much thought and some coercion we all agreed to try a little baking, just us girls.

I must say I am usually a from the box kind of gal. So what in the world possessed me to try from scratch, I will never know.  But the girls and I set out to bake our cake.  The sifting of the flour was very messy, because they got it everywhere. Digging out the eggs shells, that my youngest was cracking, was a feat all in itself. Mixing the cake was the best as it was slung all over my oldest daughter as her and my middle daughter were talking. Finally, though we were ready to bake.  We watch in anticipation as it rises and became this beautiful masterpiece. Once done we take it out to cool, only to watch our beautiful masterpiece deflate into a big flat blob.  I can only assume that between the flour, picking out the eggshells, and slinging of cake mix a key ingredient was somehow missed.

After dinner though, my husband being the man that he is, agrees to try a nice healthy slice of our blob.  It wasn’t until after the second piece he leans over to me and says, “Is it supposed to be crunchy.”  Well so much for me thinking I got all of those eggshells out.

I can say that with the mess we made and a flat cake; I truly enjoyed the time with the girls. There were no fights to have to referee or the competition that always exists in a house full of females. Only the sound of their giggles and the look of excitement in their eyes as they felt they had truly accomplished something.  The fact that the cake didn’t turn out doesn’t matter; it was just about being with them. With that said the next time it is Pillsbury Cookies for our next baking adventure.